mizuwizu

Its difficult for me to concentrate on 2 things at the same time. 2 career paths … one fulfils my pocket the other fulfils my passion. Both equally demanding in profession.

I don’t know how to juggle this anymore… it just seems like I have to give up one in order to survive. But I won’t be able to forgive myself if I had to make that choice.  Because one is more secure than the other. And one is more satisfying than the other. Why do I have to choose between security and satisfaction? Why can’t I just have both? Life is just unfair.

I am tired …. Physically, mentally and emotionally … my brains have been kneaded like dough and the lonesome feeling I get every day just doesn’t seem to help at all. I’ve been walking around everyday with a heavy heart. I am optimistic about a lot of things …but I just don’t understand y I feel so sad for the past few weeks. Like I am never satisfied. I need some time to myself again …to relax and be away from the world … maybe that would help me to some minimal extent.

Why do I just feel like giving up all of a sudden? It feels like I am just not cut out for this and at the same time, it feels like I belong here… it’s a messed up feeling really … my blur-ness makes me want to kick myself… I don’t know if it’s my bosses that are unclear or if it is me who’s doing the messing up … Sian

It’s been way too long since I last touched my LJ, yet alone look at it… to many things have been happening in my life… way to many… I really feel like I am bursting at the seams with both my tummy fats and my thoughts.

I am left with no time for myself, No time to even think about my future, No time to deal with anyone else’s issues. And yet I still do it… honestly I cannot find the answer to the reoccurring question floating around in my head. Y DO I GIVE IN??????

I am frustrated and confused with my own memoirs. It makes me angry to feel left out and kept in the dark about so many things.

I sucks to be the one who makes to effort to tell the people around u how u feel only to have them shut you out and pretend that nothings wrong when clearly there is an issue.

Why do I have to play guessing games with everyone?

I am human to you know … and I have feelings just like the rest of you. Unless u are a heartless piece of a log …then I have nothing to say really…

You people need to grow up… I know I am not the most mature person in the world and yes I am not all that … but atleast I spare a thought for the people around me… even the faintest bit is good enough. So please just stop it with the childish behavior and just lead a normal life… there is no need for sudden burst of excitement and there is no need to be SEXed up to feel good about yourself…

Learn from this please for your own good and for the rest of us folks around you. Life will be like a bed or roses if u want it to be.

Ok that’s all for this rant of a post … a bit wishy washy when it comes to my thoughts but I needed and outlet .

So there… :D